Friday, December 14, 2007

Progress Marches On!

Dear people with AIDS,

Still haven't gotten around to finding a cure. But check this out: we made some cats that glow in the dark!

You're welcome.


Monday, November 26, 2007

"No, no, no... He's GREAT."

Do you know who this is?...

That's right. It's Academy Award winning actor Martin Landau. A brilliant actor with an amazing and impressive career in films and television.

And this... Graydon Carter. He is the editor of Vanity Fair. Tell me, does he look like a douchebag?

Just kidding. Of course he does.

And he is. I have proof.

Recently, Mr. Carter was a guest programmer on Turner Classic Movies. One of his selections was one of my favorite films of all time: Hitchcock's classic North By Northwest.

Before the film began, Carter sat down with TCM host Robert Osbourne to discuss it. Eventually, Martin Landau came up. (If you haven't seen the movie, Landau plays a creepy, villainous crony of the antagonist James Mason.)

Carter used this opportunity to relate the following story about Martin Landau showing up at the Vanity Fair Oscar party in 1993. (NOTE: It's a little quiet. You may need your headphones.)

Again, this was one year before Landau won an Oscar for his role in Ed Wood - that is, it was 1993. Carter says that Sarah Marks (whoever the fuck that is) says, "Most people haven't seen him in anything in years." Well, Landau had been nominated for his (INCREDIBLE) performance in Crime and Misdemeanors just FOUR YEARS EARLIER in 1989.

I stand uncorrected. The guy's a douche. (You too, Sarah Marks.)


Thursday, November 22, 2007

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


People magazine has an interesting way of letting their readers know that George Clooney is dead...

Friday, November 2, 2007

Monday, October 15, 2007

To Hell With Purple People!

Check it out: a set from the late, great Mitch Hedberg! Enjoy...

Monday, July 23, 2007

Old Fashion

Yesterday, I saw a man who was at least 92 years old wearing the tiniest pair of jean shorts that I have ever seen on a human being. Male or female. He had long, skinny legs that were the color of boiled chicken.

I want to unsee it so badly.

Nausea aside, I don’t blame him. The man is obviously insane. Clearly, he didn’t put on a pair of shorts that were intended for a teenage girl and think, “People are going to say I am too old for these. But you know what? Let them say what they will. I think they are comfortable and stylish. I’m wearing them!”

No. He is missing the part of the normal old man brain that sees a pair of denim hot pants and says, “No fucking way.”

I blame the person at the store where he bought the shorts. Upon seeing an elderly man at the register attempting to purchase a pair of Daisy Dukes, this heartless bastard decided to make the sale. I don’t care if you work on commission, there is no excuse for that kind of societal indifference.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Inner Emotions of Mikeycat

There are thousands of Mike Henry's out there, but what are the odds that two of us would be so much alike ...AND have the same nickname???

I hope the other Mikeycat consumed lots of sushi in China (it is what China's famous for after all). I also hope he encountered lots of Chinese people every day. But I hope he didn't accept a Coke from any of them. They probably peed in it... as is my understanding.

Hand Pudding

Served daily.