Monday, July 23, 2007

Old Fashion

Yesterday, I saw a man who was at least 92 years old wearing the tiniest pair of jean shorts that I have ever seen on a human being. Male or female. He had long, skinny legs that were the color of boiled chicken.

I want to unsee it so badly.

Nausea aside, I don’t blame him. The man is obviously insane. Clearly, he didn’t put on a pair of shorts that were intended for a teenage girl and think, “People are going to say I am too old for these. But you know what? Let them say what they will. I think they are comfortable and stylish. I’m wearing them!”

No. He is missing the part of the normal old man brain that sees a pair of denim hot pants and says, “No fucking way.”

I blame the person at the store where he bought the shorts. Upon seeing an elderly man at the register attempting to purchase a pair of Daisy Dukes, this heartless bastard decided to make the sale. I don’t care if you work on commission, there is no excuse for that kind of societal indifference.

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