Monday, July 23, 2007

Old Fashion

Yesterday, I saw a man who was at least 92 years old wearing the tiniest pair of jean shorts that I have ever seen on a human being. Male or female. He had long, skinny legs that were the color of boiled chicken.

I want to unsee it so badly.

Nausea aside, I don’t blame him. The man is obviously insane. Clearly, he didn’t put on a pair of shorts that were intended for a teenage girl and think, “People are going to say I am too old for these. But you know what? Let them say what they will. I think they are comfortable and stylish. I’m wearing them!”

No. He is missing the part of the normal old man brain that sees a pair of denim hot pants and says, “No fucking way.”

I blame the person at the store where he bought the shorts. Upon seeing an elderly man at the register attempting to purchase a pair of Daisy Dukes, this heartless bastard decided to make the sale. I don’t care if you work on commission, there is no excuse for that kind of societal indifference.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Inner Emotions of Mikeycat

There are thousands of Mike Henry's out there, but what are the odds that two of us would be so much alike ...AND have the same nickname???

I hope the other Mikeycat consumed lots of sushi in China (it is what China's famous for after all). I also hope he encountered lots of Chinese people every day. But I hope he didn't accept a Coke from any of them. They probably peed in it... as is my understanding.

Hand Pudding

Served daily.